Inaugu-Blog

Well, I'll be the first to admit that this is an odd topic choice for the first blog entry on the newly-designed KAYANDABI.COM, but if you looked at the date stamp on here and know that I happen to live in the NY/NJ metro area, you know what's on my mind this morning.

I actually hadn't planned on writing or saying anything about 9/11. I feel that 8 years removed from the event, everything that could be said HAS been said... discussed, debated, belittled, bemoaned... you name it. But after dropping Packy off this morning at the train station, I decided to take a little detour for my ritual summer morning iced coffee, (which is, btw my *last* one until the spring now. I probably should have gotten a hot one on this rainy, dreary NY day). Well, somewhere between sugar & splenda packets, it hit me.

CBS FM, that is.

I'd been listening to the usual morning mix of advertisements, (okay, Hydroxycut. You just need to STOP. NOW.) when the air went dead silent and three distinct bell tones sounded. Now, being a BEATLES nerd, I identified them right away as coming from JOHN LENNON'S "BEAUTIFUL BOY." But the song proper didn't start. Just the bell tones. And silence.

I looked at the station dial and said, "Well, now. That was a major fail, CBS. Someone f-ed up over there, didn't they?"

THEN I looked at the clock.

10:28am.

Jesus I'm a moron.

Those of us who lived through that day can picture the exact image that flashed through my mind- the collapsing North Tower of the World Trade Center. Looking for all the world like something out of a Hollywood disaster film, I can still remember seeing that live on a television in my high school's faculty lounge.

It's funny how time warps things. At that moment it seemed so unreal- impossible, even. I remember when it finally hit home that this wasn't a movie and that people were really dying right there live on network TV. I cried. A lot. But as years have elapsed, I find that I've almost moved back to a place where it seems unreal again. Watching what has become "historical film" now... it once again feels somehow fake. False. Did I really live through those crazy days? Crazy YEARS that followed where everyone and his brother came out with a wacky conspiracy theory or new way to twist things to serve their own purposes?

Packy and I were watching VH1 the other night and they were playing something from a couple years ago- "I Love the Millenium! - 2001". We both sat there staring at the screen, kinda numb. The fact that in 2006 someone thought it was time to look back at that year with fond nostalga kinda blows my mind.

We both agreed that it's too soon. Still. I think as a society we still grapple with the issues- personal and national- that were stirred up on the morning of September 11th, 2001. There's still hurt and a WHOLE LOT of anger involved when you mention that date, especially in this area (for the record, I was still living up in Albany, NY in 2001- I wasn't down here in NJ yet).

Maybe I'll feel differently on September 11th, 2011... but for now, don't tell yourself that it's somehow passe to remember this date. Don't fall back in to an unconscious numbness. Let yourself feel whatever emotions prick in your brain at the mention of this date.

Don't forget. Don't you EVER forget.

I almost did . . .

- Kay


(note: As I was writing this, I became hyper-aware of the sounds coming from outside my window. Sirens blaring and fire trucks wailing. Also, at one point I heard a huge jetliner fly overhead. The fact that those things didn't just fade in to the usual background noise of city life just further underlined what I was writing about. I found myself imagining what those sounds were like 8 years ago and a chill ran down my back. 9/11/01 - Remember.)